Keeping Myself Honest

I’ve been thinking a lot about my bucket list lately. At the moment, it looks something like this:

  • Get a college degree (including study abroad)
  • See the pyramids (visit Egypt)
  • Learn a second language (with relative proficiency)
  • Swim in the Great Barrier Reef
  • Fall in love, get my heart broken a little, move on
  • Learn to enjoy avocados (including guacamole)
  • See John Williams direct a live performance of his music (i.e. the music of my childhood)
  • Go to Hogwarts with my sisters 

Look at all those items crossed out. I’ve been fortunate in the last decade or so. If I died tomorrow, I wouldn’t really have any regrets about any of that. But I’ve been thinking that I don’t really need a bucket list in the sense that people usually mean it. Generally, a bucket list means…possessions acquired, destinations visited.

I’ve just got…things to do. Things like:

  • Be a better sister and daughter than I was yesterday, last week, last year (always in progress)
  • Be honest and straightforward whenever possible…don’t give or take bullshit, but remain sensitive to people and situations
  • Be more body-confident, including figuring out things like what makeup works for me and how to wear high heels for 6+ hours if necessary (partially complete, but also an ongoing struggle)
  • Make the world a nicer place than it was yesterday, even if that means giving a homeless person a dollar or telling someone I like their outfit
  • Keep an educated mind at all times; stand for what I think is right, but be open to debate and change; do not open my mouth on a subject unless I have something constructive to say
  • Never, ever again let anyone shame me for being a nerd
  • Tell my friends and family I love them (more often)
  • Pay off my student loans…hopefully while doing something that I enjoy
  • Get back to (or exceed) the level of happiness and mental health that I had during 2014-2015

So I’m writing these things to do here, to keep myself honest about them. The internet is forever, right? So this will be here to remind me. It won’t be easy. It won’t be pretty. I probably won’t ever cross these off this list. But I think I can have a damn good time trying.

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